Saturday, February 28, 2015

Life Is Unpredictable

In January I set a goal to post on my blog three to four times a week, but sometimes life just gets in the way.  A week ago yesterday I had to take DH (dear hubby) to the emergency room.  He had pneumonia and a heart attack...his seventh one.  We spent six days in the hospital.  The doctor performed an angioplasty and a stent.  During that six days I lost his hearing aids, my car broke down and one day I was sick with what I thought was a cold.  It only lasted a day and a half so it must have been an allergy attack.  I don't get over a cold in a week and a half, let alone a day and a half.  On top of that when we got home and I emptied the bags of clothes that we had at the hospital his underwear was missing.  Some of it was brand new.  

But what's important is that he's still alive!  Thank God for that...literally.   I don't know how much more that poor old heart can take.  He's always been so active even with his health problems, but the last two heart attacks have really taken a tole on him. 

I did finally find his hearing aids.  They were in the laundry basket.  I had put them in my coat pocket, but I must have taken them out and put them in my pants pocket so they wouldn't get lost (?!!), then threw the pants in the laundry.  Now if his underwear would turn up, the car would magically fix itself and his heart would heal all would be well. 

I'll try to post a more interesting, uplifting subject in a day or two. 

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

Valentine's Day

Valentine's day has come and gone, but I'm still laughing at the jokes I heard and read.  Our church had a brunch for couples (or even people that weren't part of a couple).  Our church clown (sorry Bill) was in his element walking around with his microphone and jokes.  Here are a few I heard and read around and on Valentines Day.

Q: Why did the banana go out with the prune?
A: Because it couldn't get a date.

Q. What did the boy bird say to the girl bird on Valentine's Day?
A. Let me call you Tweet heart!

 Q: Did you hear about the nearsighted porcupine?
A: He fell in love with a pin cushion!

 Q: What did the pencil say to the paper?
A: I dot my i's on you!

GROAN!  That's the last of the one liners.  How about knock knock?

 Knock Knock
Who's there?
Pooch who?
Pooch your arms around me!

 Knock Knock
Who's there?
Luke who?
Luke who got a Valentine!

 Knock Knock
Who's there?
Olive who?
Olive you!

Double GROAN!  That's enough knock knock.

 Driving through Southern California, I stopped at a roadside stand that sold fruit, vegetables and crafts. As I went to pay, I noticed the young woman behind the counter was painting a sign. “Why the new sign?” I asked. “My boyfriend didn’t approve of the old one,” she said. When I glanced at what hung above the counter, I understood. It declared: “Local Honey Dates Nuts”

 The lingerie store where my aunt works was crowded with shoppers selecting Valentine’s Day gifts for their wives. A young businessman came to the register with a lacy black negligee. My aunt noticed that the next customer, an elderly farmer, was holding a long flannel nightgown and kept glancing at the younger man’s sexier choice. When it was his turn, the farmer placed the nightgown on the counter. “Would you have anything in black flannel?” He asked.

 My dearest wife is always going on and on and ON about NOT making a fuss over her on Valentine's Day.  She repeats that it's the thought that counts.
Well, I put a lot of thought into the gifts from previous February 14ths but she didn't quite take to any of them like I assumed she would. Here's my list - see what you think:
  • Brand new mop and bucket.
    I was thinking it would be fun to see what color the floor was because I couldn't remember.
  • Romantic dinner at fast food restaurant.
    I was thinking that she might like to go inside for a change instead of fetching dinner at the drive through.
  • Chocolates left-over from last year's candy box.
    I was thinking of how proud she'd be of me for not wasting food. She's been nagging me for years to recycle.
  • Midnight moped ride through the park.
    I was thinking that I'm getting too old to be peddling on the bike.
  • Dozen roses printed on high quality photo paper. One of my favorites  -
    I was thinking these would last a lifetime instead of just a week.
  • 45 second back massage.
    I was thinking any longer and she might think I was interested in something else. 
 Phil, a smart and handsome young man, dressed in the latest fashion, walked into this local pub. He noticed a woman gazing at him without blinking her big eyes. Phil felt flattered so he walked up to the woman and said in his deepest voice, 'I'll do anything you wish, beautiful lady, for just $10 but on one condition.' 
The woman appeared to be trapped in the moment and asked as if in a trance, 'What's your condition?'
Phil answered, 'Tell me your wish in just three words.'
There was a long pause, the woman opened her purse, counted out the money and handed it to the man along with her address.  She then looked deeply into his eyes and whispered, 'Clean my house.'

Until next year - -
Love is catching.  Spreads by kisses.

Tuesday, February 10, 2015

Getting Older

Tomorrow is just another day....and my BIRTHDAY.  Why do they come around so fast?  I remember when I could hardly wait for the next birthday.  Now I'd rather have one about every two years.  At our  church service last Sunday my birthday was announced, and when asked how old I would be I added 10 years to my real age thinking that some people might comment on how young I look for my age.   Most people knew me well enough to know I was kidding, but a few didn't.  They thought I looked AMAZING for my age. 

When I was young I thought that no matter how old I became I would always look and feel young.  I would make sure of it.  Wrong!!  I'm losing ground on both counts.  Most of my body is drooping and there's that neck that looks a lot like a turkey.  Last week I bought some of those jeans that ride just below the belly button. Well, from my belly button down I look like half of a blown up balloon.  When an item is sitting at the crest of a hill it's naturally going to roll down.  The jeans wound up down around my crotch.  

My joints hurt and don't want to bend when I tell them to. What doesn't hurt doesn't exist.  When I look in the mirror I wonder why my mother is there.  Sometimes I walk into a room and forget why I'm there.  Sometimes I forget that I forgot.  

Oh, well, I guess it's better than the alternative.  I'm my mother's clone and she lived to age 99.  I probably have -???? - more years to get used to the inevitable  

Sunday, February 8, 2015

My Attempt at Haiga

I have been writing poetry for many years and at one time I was a member of a poetry board on the internet.  I was never a big fan of haiku, but became interested in that poetry form as I read haiku that some of the members were writing.  I never became good at writing that type of poetry, but have written a few to combine with some of my photography, creating haiga (haiku + art).

If some of you studied haiku in school years ago you probably learned that haiku, Japanese form of poetry,  consisted of three lines...5 syllables, 7 syllables,  5 syllables.  However, the Japanese equivalent of syllables isn't the same as ours.  The modern day poets no longer use that rule of thumb. There are so many rules and non-rules pertaining to modern haiku that I won't list them all here, and I can't say I understand them all considering that I'm definitely not an expert on that poetry form. The haiku quite often describes nature, but not always.  The phrase that sticks in my head is that an 'AHA!' moment is important.  

Here are some of my haiga experiments.  I hope you enjoy them.  And if you're a poetry expert, please feel free to critique...or even if you're not.

Thursday, February 5, 2015

Meat Loaf YU-UUMMM!

A few years ago my granddaughter gave me a recipe for meatloaf.  I've always been about the worst at making meatloaf so I was happy to get a recipe from a chef.  She's no longer in the restaurant business, but she's still a great cook.  For a couple years I didn't make her meatloaf.  In fact I forgot she had given me the recipe. Last week I hunted for it until I finally found it among my stash of  'wanna cook this some day'.  I made it last night and it was just as good as I remembered it.  Here's the recipe.

Blythe's Meat Loaf

equal parts ground pork and ground beef. (I used Italian sausage for the pork.)
diced onions
chopped garlic
chopped bacon
fruit of the pig spice  (I don't have any of that.  Don't even know what it is)

sauce - chopped mama lil's pickled peppers and ketchup. Just heat it up and put it on the meatloaf when you eat it.